It’s a really exciting day for me today… I will be having my first SOLO AUCTION EVER! omg…!
I have been soooo busy these last months painting and creating in preparation for this event.
It’s hard to imagine that just a couple years ago I was sitting at a check-in desk dreaming of becoming a full-time artist.
I worked for years in the airport, crazy night shifts, double shifts, stressing hours and passengers, working over weekends and holidays, just work work work like crazy. And I was extremely unhappy. When you do something you aren’t passionate about, when you get up at 3:00 am to do an early shift just so you can have the afternoon free and do some art, or stay up after the kids go to bed and paint knowing you only have 3 hours of sleep before you have to go to work.. These are all things that make you wonder, what the heck? Why don’t I defy all reason and follow my dream? Why don’t I take that leap, leave all else behind and be the one thing that I ever wanted to be since I was little? When I sneaked paper and pencil in bed after lights out to draw under a flashlight, or kept a broken oil pastel in my pocket ruining my best skirt? When all the kids where playing ball in the yard while I sketched my stories on paper…
And then one day that young teenager full of hopes and dreams, had her world suddenly fall apart. A dark cloud passed over my life and I forgot about my oil pastels, my paper and pencil, I forgot about everything. I did what I must to survive. I put my dreams aside, and “got on” with life.
Many years passed after that, where I hardly even picked up a pencil. I pretty much had locked away my dreams and threw away the key…
Then, one day, not many years ago things started to change. The dream I held on to as a kid started to re-surface. I tried my best to push it back, to ignore the calling. I had a family now to support after all, weren’t artists always portrayed as starving people dressed in rags? (lol!) In any case, I fell into a deep depression, thinking I would always be stuck in a job I wasn’t passionate about, doing something I couldn’t care less about, draining me day after day. I felt completely numb inside. Everything seemed impossible, like a weight that pulled me down down down to the very depths of desperation. My body had a sudden and total collapse. I just…stopped functioning.
And as I lay in that hospital bed I thought, “what the hell am I doing? Nobody is going to change this life for me, I have to do something about it and right away, before it’s too late…”
That year for me was one of the most difficult of my life. I went through some very dark times, my life turned upside down, the “old me” faded away and began to make space for the new me.
An open page… A new start.
It took still some more years until I finally could leave my job and become a full-time artist. It’s a big step and a difficult one, but here I am. It’s not impossible. I am following that dream of that little girl who longed to be an artist. Of that teenager who was too hurt, and too afraid to follow her dream, and so locked it away for what seemed like forever.
And tomorrow, for the first time I am having an online solo auction, two days just for me to share my art in the spotlight, and I’m scared like crazy. I’m filled with uncertainty…
I keep wondering, will anyone show up? What if I’m not good enough? And that, I imagine, is something we all experience as artists. Heck, every time I put out a new online class, I have the same fear, the same uncertainty.
But then I think of all those years I wasted away, and think, “no…NO more fear. No more uncertainties. We are the ones who make our own life my friends, we make our own dreams. Never hold them back.
Always move forward, no matter how scary it is.
I want to thank you all for your continued support, encouragement, and love! I certainly wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for all of you who follow me, encourage me, and believe in me. And a HUGE thank you to dear Olga Furman, for believing in me and making this possible <3 <3 <3
I hope to see you there tomorrow, even just to cheer me on, or who knows, maybe you will find something you can treasure in your homes. 🙂
I will have over 30 original pieces between paintings, drawings, and clay sculptures, of all sizes and prices ranges, plus some reproductions. A little something for everyone, plus lots of fun giveaways! 🙂
We start tomorrow (Tuesday) at 12pm Eastern time.. I hope to see you there! 🙂
To join the event at the Heartful Soul AC you can click here (remember to click on “going” so you can see the posts!)
Much love xo,